In an unexpected twist that shocked absolutely no one, Riot Games reportedly sent a cease and desist letter to the pint-sized but highly reputable gaming news site RTPRG over its recent exposé detailing Riot’s alleged world-dominating anti-cheat squirrels.

The article in question, which claimed that Riot’s Vanguard anti-cheat could theoretically brick PCs and judge pizza preferences, apparently hit a little too close to home—or at least close enough for Riot’s legal team to break out the heavy pens.

“The audacity that they would try to initiate this coverup is tremendous,” said RTPRG editor-in-chief, sipping their coffee with a smirk while brushing off the legal threat. “We simply reported what we observed: tiny squirrels in motherboards. This is journalism, people.”

Sources claim that Riot’s cease and desist was so detailed, it included an appendix outlining every theoretical squirrel paw-print, along with a flowchart of how PC-bricking could be “accidentally polite.” RTPRG, undeterred, is now considering printing the entire letter as a limited edition collectible.

Fans of the site quickly rallied online, launching the hashtag #SquirrelsOverLawyers, prompting Riot’s lawyers to nervously clarify: “No, the squirrels cannot actually brick your PC. That was… hypothetical.”

Meanwhile, the world waits with bated breath to see whether RTPRG will comply or double down by publishing a follow-up article, this time revealing that the squirrels have been negotiating for union representation.